Coaching Culture with Ben Herring

Reflections: Privilege, Context, And The Real Measure Of Coaching

• Ben Herring

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A year can teach more than a stack of textbooks when you commit to showing up every week. We look back on a season built on a simple promise: open a door to world-class coaching minds so any coach, in any town, can learn directly from people who are in the arena. Along the way, we learned new crafts—audio, video, messy garage setups, timezone chaos—and hit 100,000 downloads, a milestone that matters only because it means ideas landed when people needed them.

Two conversations shaped our thinking the most. From Tony Brown came a line that won’t leave us: be a rugby person first, a coach second. That idea reframed how we run sessions and lead teams. People follow the person before they follow the plan, so character—listening, honesty, calm, presence—comes first. Once trust and connection exist, detail finally carries weight, and the tactics stick. We unpack how that looks on the grass: greet early, notice energy, invite ownership, then layer in drills, prompts, and reviews that fit the group in front of you.

From Ben Darwin and Gain Line Analytics, we dig into the Monopoly Effect: how hidden advantages shape results while winners often misattribute success to pure skill. We explore structural edges like budget, legacy systems, cohesion, and travel that can tilt outcomes long before kickoff. The lesson is humility when advantaged and resilience when constrained. See your context clearly, avoid arrogance or bitterness, and optimize the hand you hold—measure cohesion, build availability, and prioritize repeatable standards over noise.

We also share what’s next: sharper systems, higher production quality, broader reach, and a commitment to stay educational rather than entertainment. The goal is the same as day one—turn conversations with elite practitioners into practical tools for coaches, leaders, and teams. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a coach who’d benefit, and leave a review with one insight you’re taking into the new year. Your feedback shapes what we build next.

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SPEAKER_00:

Hey team, hope everybody's well. Before I do anything else, I just wanted to have a bit of a reflection myself. Recording this on New Year's Eve before I fly back to Sydney with the family after having an awesome Christmas back in New Zealand, which I haven't been back to in quite a while. And I'm just reflecting on my own uh journey this year on the Coaching Culture podcast and what it's all been about. And from the outset, when I'm looking back, writing my notes, is that the Coaching Culture podcast was never built for rugby yarns. It wasn't uh an entertainment thing. It was built as a tool for coaches, not just in rugby, but in any sport and for leaders in general to become better versions of themselves. There's lots of podcasts out there with some fantastically humorous and funny guys and girls that tell some great yarns. But this podcast was never about that. I wanted this podcast to be an educational tool. And the idea was pretty simple for me that most people never get access to the best in the world. Not because not good enough, but because of geography or money or opportunity timing. So I had this vision that I just wanted to open a door. Whether you were coaching in in a club side or in a small town in Texas, as I always thought, I just wanted you to be able to hear firsthand from the people that have been in this industry, that have been professional coaches and are still coaching. I wanted to know about the stuff that they go through and that the that only people in the industry, in the arena, can actually know. Because for me, when you hear those stories about what some of the very best in the world are going through, you're related to your own case. And those stories change you. And I know this for a fact because when I talk to my mentors and people that I talk about that are in coaching as a profession, their goods and bads changes me. It's not just the good moments, but it's their hard ones too. You know, there's so much doubt and there's mistakes and there's pressure and there's decisions that keep you up at night. And when you hear from somebody that's been through it and going through it, and someone that you respect, it helps your own journey. It genuinely does. And I and I know it because it's it's been a big part of mine. Um I love talking to people that are in it. I love people that are doers, not just the theory, not just on paper, not just academically, but the what those that are in it doing. And I've been pretty lucky, and I've chosen a global coaching path on purpose. And I've been privileged to have a family of back me, uh having children born all over the world, and I've been able to go the whole way, just say yes to stuff. International teams in different countries, pro teams in different countries, and I'm able to do that and have done that. And at the moment, I've stepped away from this, from this full-time international and professional coaching now, and I'm loving this next chapter for me. I get to call on my network, my mates, my friends, those that I've coached, those that I've coached with, some of the highest in the game, and turn those conversations into the coaching culture podcast, this free platform that helps others in the industry. And I'm loving it. And that's what it's been all about: an educational tool for coaches. And I think it's so cool. So I wanted to reflect on that. That just I'm really super grateful for the support and just being able to do it in the first place. That's a huge reflection for me. And this year, 2025, the last day today, has been a proper learning curve for me. Like, for starters, I'm not a tech guy at all. I do, I don't love apps and and editing and audio gear. So a lot of this year has been about, you know, me just learning the detail, kind of in a hard way. You know, working out edits, figuring out platforms, dealing with the bad setups, uh, turning someone else's garage into a box full of mics and backup mics and hoping the sound sound holds out. Learning how to make video, to understand time zone, how easy it is to get them all wrong, and then do it again next next week. Now, at the start, my only goal was consistency. Get great people on, turn up every week, and put out an episode every week for a year. That's what I wanted to do. Um, and I've this date here, the New Year's Eve, I'll uh it's been done and I'm loving it. And I'm loving this side of things becoming the my next craft, the thing I'm trying to get better at week by week, going and going, just like all coaches do, learning how it works. And it's been awesome. This week, the last week of the year, we actually hit 100,000 downloads, people actually downloading an episode, and I'm genuinely stoked. Um, not because of the number, but because what it represents. That the people are listening, people are sharing, and the feedback that comes through has been unreal. Messages from coaches, players, leaders, parents, people saying an idea landed at the right time, people saying help them think differently. And that's the point. And I'm really proud about it. Now, I'm I'm at the stage now where I've got to go back and actually iron out a proper system and structure because I've basically just dove in and learned on the go. And um, I've been building um the plane while flying it, and and now and now I'm excited about tightening that sort of things up. And there are some seriously good people out there having I'm having conversations about how to do it well. Um, there's a whole new industry out there for me, and I think it's cool. It's cool. Like I'm I'm loving how much I'm enjoying it. I'm loving the learning I'm getting out of it. It takes me right back to when I started playing the game of rugby as a player, when I started as a coach and just where you get to with just consistently enjoying what you're doing, turning up every time, every time I'm getting in front of the mic, just enjoying and embracing, you know, this new industry that I find myself in. Um, I have some real cool plans for 2026. Uh I'm really loving growing this even more. Um, and I want to do things different, better systems, better quality, more reach and more impact. And I've got a huge some really unique ideas which separate this podcast out. Like I said at the start, it's not an entertainment podcast. This is an educational podcast. So many funny guys and girls out there doing wonderful things with entertainment, rugby and coaching podcasts. This one's not that. This is the educational one, again, the best in the world, to share their experiences. So I wanted to just reflect when I think back to this year, two of the things which have just resonated with from the 52 guests I've had on the show, international quality guests, and two that stand out. And I was just thinking about this earlier today, and they are Tony Brown and a guy called Ben Darwin. And Ben's been on the show twice because what I got out and what listeners got out of his one is has just been phenomenal. So I wanted to just touch on the big phrase that those two uh guests had, which have just lit me up a little bit and just made me really reflect. And I wanted to reflect on the bigger part of that. And Tony Brown's one, and Tony has had an amazing 2025 as international coach, a tag coach for the Spring Box, and they have just gone through the roof with him coming in there. They are breaking records and just what a machine they are becoming. They're a joy to watch, and the way they play is so awesome, connected, passionate, and um and also the just the sheer talent that they have. And he's been a big part of that shift. Now, so he's a great man to talk to about what it is. So he had the phrase in the in the uh in the in the podcast we did with him that his phrase is here's a rugby man first and a coach second. And I love that a rugby man first and a coach second. And I just think it's important that um that kind of concept we just dig into a little bit underneath it. The people don't just follow your detail, they follow you. And the best coaches that I've been around have this sort of groundedness that sits underneath everything they do. They are a person first, and they are steady in a lot of things, how they treat people, how they listen, how they own mistakes, how they show up when things aren't going well. And then after that, that's when the rugby comes in. And the best in the world have that bill. You really feel that they're a person, you connect with that. And sometimes coaches miss it is when they forget that aspect. They they rot they turn up to a rugby session all about the rugby. Got to do this, gotta have my cones set out correctly, got gotta have my drills all sorted, gotta be looking at the plan, gotta be doing this review. I can't talk to anyone because I've got to nail the the review. And you miss that other person that that's the you're a rugby person first. And rugby is a sport of connection, it's like a battleground. And you've got to be connected if you want to fight in a battle. And the bigger picture to this is actually the same in any field you're in. The best, for example, the best doctors are humans first. They can read a room before they can read a scan, you know? They know when what they need to do, but that they know when to slow down, when to look someone in the eye, when to tell someone the truth with a little bit of care. And then they jump in with the knowledge. And when they do, after they've got the human side first, that knowledge lands so much better. The details have weight because the person delivering them has weight. I think that's a really important thing that we often forget in our roles as coaches and leaders. And I just want to say that again. The details have weight because and when the person delivering them has weight. And that should be the first thing we as coaches are actually focused on is how to really, you know, create weight that we that we stand with. The best teachers in the world don't hide behind the syllabus or the curriculum. They are present, they are calm, fair, and have a bit of energy about them. And when they are this, then the learning sticks. Yeah, it's very easy to stand up and just say, read chapter four and do the questions at the end, because that is the curriculum, but it doesn't have as much weight as when you pour a little bit of you into it. Your bit of creativity, your bit of presence, your bit of flair. Yeah, and I love that. They the best leaders have character, they lead with character, and then whatever strategies after that has better traction. And a a lot of people that I chat to around this cultural side of things often think that being a person first sort of means being a bit softer, but it doesn't mean being soft, it just means real. Yeah, and that that's that's a there's a big distinction there. And for me, when I flick back to Tony's phrase about being a rugby person first before a coach second, it's really it's really amazing uh statement because he's one of the very best, if not the best in the world. And and he knows he's got to connect as a as a rugby guy first. I think that's absolutely wonderful. And and you can do that in whatever way you want to do it, but just that concept that be that first. When you turn up to your training session, be a rugby person first. And and rugby people enjoy a laugh, they enjoy the the competitive element, all these things, be that first and then throw your technique and your detail in after. The second big idea that I that I love chatting to is with Ben Darwin and this idea of the monopoly effect. And Ben Ben was so good the first podcast that we had to get it back for a second, and we will definitely get him back for more because uh his insight uh with his company Gain Line Analytics is just outstanding. Like it just the way he speaks and and and makes you think about some of your shortcomings, about bigger picture shortcomings and narrow-minded shortcomings. And this monopoly effect was done basically on an experiment that was done on a game of Monopoly where they got a whole lot of subjects in, and they gave half the group uh advantages, like you had more money to start with. You got to roll two dice, not one. Every time you pass go, you got double the money, and and these sort of things, which clearly would influence the outcome. And they did in every case when the advantaged player was up against the disadvantaged player, the advantaged player won 100% of the time. But the interesting thing was that when they interviewed them afterwards, not a single one said that the reason why they won was because of the disadvantage that was based on a roll of the dice or a flip of the coin in the first place had anything to do with it. Just wasn't said. They said they were probably a better player, they got their tactics right, all this carry-on. And they also noted that throughout the game that just the level of um bigging yourself up, um like like banter with the other person, all this kind of almost borderline arrogance was through the roof. And that for me was a is a massive one for coaches, and we'll talk about it, right? But it can be out of any team, that there is huge advantages and disadvantages based on the structure of the organizations or the teams that you're going to. And often you don't even realize that. Certainly, when you go into a really good team, you don't appreciate all the groundwork that's been done for often 20, 30, 40, 50 years to get the team to that point. And what's instilled in there, and you're just walking in as a little bit of icing on the cake. And you don't always realize that other teams don't have that same luxury. Some of the best coaches that I have seen coach in person are coaching some of the lowest teams and finishing mid-table, and that is outstanding. And sometimes winning sort of says you're a fantastic coach. Whereas what's actually the case in a lot of cases is like the Monopoly effect, the team you're involved in has all these advantages, could be money, could be resources, could be, you know, generational support, it could be systems which are now ingrained, which you don't even realize, you know, or you're forgotten, or you're conveniently forgetting. And it's important to realize this and just be open to it, because you don't often hear uh a coach that beats a team that says, Um, oh, they actually had a lot of players out uh where it's um they had a small budget or their travel was brutal and or their best forward is carrying a pretty significant injury. They don't say that. They say, Oh, it's a great win, you know, we executed well, you know, the players stuck on task, they executed the game plan, there's a lot of heart shown, all this sort of thing. You're making excuses for sometimes what is inherently and just a pure advantage you have. And I think that context is worth diving into because the context is real. Not every coach has the same advantages. In fact, none do. Every situation is contextual. And so whether you're getting smashed every game, it's under important that you actually understand that context and just be gentle of yourself sometimes, and you're not trying to necessarily win every game, even though that's what you are trying to do. You're just trying to be the best coach you can be and get the team up optimized as best they can for all the stuff that's in the background, which you don't always understand is there. And I love that. And I think it's important too, because life is like that. People start with all sorts of different starts. Yeah, you've dealt different cards, there's different support, there's different bodies, there's different brains, there's different stress loads, there's different opportunities, different rooms people are even allowed into. Now, acknowledging that is not complaining, it's just being honest. And the danger is almost two-sided. If you have advantages and you do not see them, you become a little bit blind and probably arrogant. And some coaches that I've heard talking from very successful teams do talk with an arrogance. And then they go to a different team and it and things don't work and it crumbles, and they realize, oh my goodness, it wasn't just me being a rock star coach, it was just the environment I was in. And sometimes when you change a lot of teams and you realize what you did there isn't, or you as a coach isn't always the driving factor, there's some bigger stuff involved, then it really humbles you. And sometimes when you're not seeing that, you judge others har harshly. You think you're always the best, you stop learning. Now, the reverse is the same. If you have disadvantages, like yeah, you know, you're in the lowest paid team, you have no budget, you have terrible conditions. Sometimes you only stare at just those things and you become bitter, stuck, and whingy and complaining. And you give your power away on this. The mature part of you, or the mature path, sits somewhere in between both. You gotta see the game clearly, you've got to own your cards. You don't have to wish you had other people's hands, you just need to play yours as best you can and maximizing as best you can. And that for me is the definition of coaching. It's leadership too, and quite quite frankly, it's life as well. You just gotta deal with the cards you got and and get excited about trying to play the game as as best you can with all those advantages or disadvantages. So I guess that's a question that I that I get for you for you all in this New Year's Eve podcast is just have that little bit of reflection. What have you been given? What are you gonna do with it? I'm certainly doing that for myself, and some of this tech stuff and my abilities with that. So that's team, my reflections, a very sort of extended chat through of the season, this 2025 on the coaching culture podcast. Now, wishing you all a great 2026, and I hope it's been a year of good health for you, with lots of great people around and and you've progressed really well in all things that matter. And I really appreciate everyone tuning in every week for this. Um, and if you've enjoyed this podcast and and want to support the show, please reach out, whether that's sharing the episode with the mate, suggesting a guest, partnering with us, or sending through feedback. Honestly, I I love it and it helps more than you realise. So thank you for being a part of it. Thank you for staying tuned um every week and and stay tuned for what's coming in 2026. We have some awesome guests that have jumped on the show and are booked in days to chat. So some of the very best in the world. Look forward to the new year. Have a great one.